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"Bubbling up in our own good time-- online."
| Our Readers Write |
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Dear Judy,
I am writing to let others know of a book that has changed me in many ways,
and helped me through a time I never thought possible.
My name is Candice. I am 28 years old My five year-old son, Tyler "Ty Ty." was
killed in July, 2004. My seven year-old son Tristian, four year-old daughter,
Jade, fiance Ross "Pee Wee," and I watched. That is the day my world ended.
I was referred to Marsha Helton, through Sacred Heart; an excellent lady who
offers excellent programs and groups. She told me of a bereavement group. I
found this book: The Bereaved Parent by Harriet Sarnoff-Schiff.
This book consoled me in a way I can't even put into words. I was able to relate
in ways I had not been able since the tragic death of "Ty Ty." Harriet
Sarnoff-Schiff, the author, is able to share her experience, because she also
lost her son Robbie.
This book talks about the depression, rage, anger, sadness, guilt, happiness,
and all-out mourning of your child It also talks about her other children, and how
it affected them, and things that could have been done differently. The other
children (the siblings) talk of how they felt.
Most of all, the book tells you about the unthinkable chore of moving on and
rebuilding the pieces of a life you thought not possible. Well, from experience, it
is possible. And this book helped in ways unexplainable.
I am starting another book, Gone, But Not Lost If you would like, I will write
again and let you know how it was.
Please tell people who have children who have lost brothers and sisters,
Marsha Helton also has a group called Courageous Kids. Excellent.
Candice Burt
Elmira, Oregon
Volume 1 Issue 3
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Judy's response...
Reading Candice's letter was like opening a drawer of things I put away and
let myself forget - bittersweet memories, grief, a full spectrum of emotions. I
don't go there often, useful though it may be; because, after all these years, it
still makes me weep. No child is replaced by another - or anything else. Yet,
shared suffering binds us to each other and is a comfort in itself.
Let us not forget those we love or that others can feel the same.
~ Judy Hays-Eberts
I am writing to let others know of a book that has changed me in many ways,
and helped me through a time I never thought possible.
My name is Candice. I am 28 years old My five year-old son, Tyler "Ty Ty." was
killed in July, 2004. My seven year-old son Tristian, four year-old daughter,
Jade, fiance Ross "Pee Wee," and I watched. That is the day my world ended.
I was referred to Marsha Helton, through Sacred Heart; an excellent lady who
offers excellent programs and groups. She told me of a bereavement group. I
found this book: The Bereaved Parent by Harriet Sarnoff-Schiff.
This book consoled me in a way I can't even put into words. I was able to relate
in ways I had not been able since the tragic death of "Ty Ty." Harriet
Sarnoff-Schiff, the author, is able to share her experience, because she also
lost her son Robbie.
This book talks about the depression, rage, anger, sadness, guilt, happiness,
and all-out mourning of your child It also talks about her other children, and how
it affected them, and things that could have been done differently. The other
children (the siblings) talk of how they felt.
Most of all, the book tells you about the unthinkable chore of moving on and
rebuilding the pieces of a life you thought not possible. Well, from experience, it
is possible. And this book helped in ways unexplainable.
I am starting another book, Gone, But Not Lost If you would like, I will write
again and let you know how it was.
Please tell people who have children who have lost brothers and sisters,
Marsha Helton also has a group called Courageous Kids. Excellent.
Candice Burt
Elmira, Oregon
Volume 1 Issue 3
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Judy's response...
Reading Candice's letter was like opening a drawer of things I put away and
let myself forget - bittersweet memories, grief, a full spectrum of emotions. I
don't go there often, useful though it may be; because, after all these years, it
still makes me weep. No child is replaced by another - or anything else. Yet,
shared suffering binds us to each other and is a comfort in itself.
Let us not forget those we love or that others can feel the same.
~ Judy Hays-Eberts